The Remarkable Migration of Chuck Norris’s Body Hair

moncler sale outlet The above is a shitty fan made trailer for 1996’s The Forest Warrior, a tree hugging direct to video family film which is so embarrassingly liberal that even Steven Seagal would have told the producers to get that hippie bullshit script out of his face before he broke all their wrists and threw them out a window. The best bit is at 1:36, when the evil logging industry villain expresses pure terror cheap moncler outlet by going “Oooooooo!” moncler sale outlet

cheap moncler outlet Of course, The Forest Warrior isn’t the only Chuck Norris movie to play around with political themes. It just happens to be the most recent and the most embarrassing. cheap moncler outlet

moncler outlet jackets Starting in 1984, the Missing In Action movies are more obviously political than any of Norris’ other non logging industry based films, the important message here being that it’s okay to shamelessly rip off Uncommon Valor (a practice made popular a year later by Rambo: First Blood Part 2). tackles topics like race relations, Cuban refugees, and America’s misplaced sense of security (a theme which suddenly became very relevant about sixteen years later) in the middle of a story about some kind of multicultural collective of communist terrorists sneaking into Miami to blow up a bunch of random shit. Of course, in your average eighties action picture, you moncler outlet online could barely even see the actors over all the piles of dead commies in the way, so the part about communism probably doesn’t even count as political. moncler outlet jackets

moncler outlet store Similarly, it’s hard to call out 1986’s The Delta Force as being political for using Muslim terrorists as the villains. After all, “terrorists are bad” isn’t exactly the most controversial statement a film can make. However, the movie does seem to display a fairly intense contempt for Islam itself, so maybe that counts. Well, he probably wrote it himself. At any rate, there is a book called Blackbelt Patriotism, and it has a picture of Chuck Norris on the cover. (on Cracked: Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks Politics (and Logic) on CNN) The book has been fairly successful. In, it comes up as the second result. The first result that comes up is the Chuck Norris Facts cheap moncler book. moncler outlet store

moncler outlet sale In 2005, some guy calling himself Scootsmagoo started a thread for “Facts buy moncler jackets About Vin Diesel” on the Something Awful message boards. In what was probably a surprising move in the eyes of his contemporaries, Scootsmagoo did not put any actual facts about Vin Diesel in this thread, instead choosing to make several impossible claims about Diesel’s sexual prowess and manliness. Moncler Outlet The idea achieved some popularity, and a Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator was created. moncler outlet sale

moncler outlet online Internet history (such as it is) was made when an enterprising soul decided to go through the Random Vin Diesel cheap moncler jackets Fact Generator and replace the words “Vin Diesel” with the words “Chuck Norris.” Cleansed of their association with Vin Diesel, the facts gained even more popularity, and the entire internet proceeded to run the joke into the fucking ground. (on Cracked: The 9 Most Obnoxious Memes to Ever Escape the Web) moncler outlet online

moncler https://www.beautylyrics.com outlet uk When news of the Chuck Norris Facts reached Norris himself, the aging star was more than a little confused by the situation, remarking, “If your soul needs moncler outlet store healing, cheap moncler coats the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris’ tears, it’s Jesus’ blood.” We’re guessing that he didn’t much care for the moncler mens jackets one that goes, “Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.” moncler outlet uk

moncler jacket sale In 2007, when a man named Ian Spector decided to publish a book of the Chuck Norris Facts, Norris wanted his cut. cheap moncler sale Similar thoughts may have occurred to some of the people who actually wrote the damn things, but Chuck was the one with the high priced lawyers, so Chuck was the one who sued. The headline on Reuters was fucking hilarious. moncler jacket sale

cheap moncler Technically, Walker, Texas Ranger was really the second Chuck Norris series to hit TV, the first being Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos,. There was a comic book and everything. cheap moncler

moncler jackets outlet About seven years after the cancelation of Karate Kommandos (coincidentally, it was also about seven years after the debut of Karate Kommandos), Norris made his triumphant moncler sale return to the small screen with Walker, Texas Ranger, a popular cop show about a tough Texas Ranger who would track down a new set of criminals every week, kick their asses with his karate, and then moncler outlet sale fly off on his jet pack. moncler jackets outlet

cheap moncler jackets sale Okay, we never really watched this show past the first episode, so we don’t really know what we’re talking about. From what we gather, though, it was moncler outlet pretty fucking weird. cheap moncler jackets sale

moncler sale In 1997, Chuck Norris starred in his first infomercial for a piece of exercise equipment called the Total Gym. It seems to have worked out moncler sale outlet quite well for them. Go to the Total Gym website, and you’ll see Chuck’s face right there on the front page, with some random person’s hand awkwardly photoshopped in front of it. moncler sale

moncler factory outlet In all fairness, Norris apparently did use the Total Gym for rehabilitation purposes in 1978, and he’s probably used it at least a few times since then. Not that this does anything to explain his eagerness to whore himself out for money in really embarrassing ways, unless he hit his head on the fucking thing moncler factory outlet.